


angel of small death;

by Iadysansa



Series: I will not ask you were you came from (I will not ask and neither should you) [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, Satisfied au pretty much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 11:33:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7933024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iadysansa/pseuds/Iadysansa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angelica meets Alexander first. She meets him first and she loves him first, but in the end is Eliza who loves him best.<br/>What Angelica did not know is that it was John Laurens who loved Alexander Hamilton first. Before he went to balls, before he was Washington’s right hand man and even before he owned a decent pair of shoes. </p>
<p>(Satisfied AU from both John and Angelica's perspective)</p>
            </blockquote>





	angel of small death;

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [he takes (and he takes and he takes)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7545715) by [threefundamentaltruths](https://archiveofourown.org/users/threefundamentaltruths/pseuds/threefundamentaltruths). 



> So this is what happens when I have a lot of feeling for two characters.

i.

Angelica meets Alexander first. She meets him first and she loves him first, but in the end is Eliza who loves him best. They dance and her feet move around in circles, they are barely touching the ground and she feels like it’s one of her mother’s stories coming true, the handsome and clever prince appearing from Morpheus’ dreamland to swipe her off her feet while he whispers sweet nothings to her ears. She likes the feeling of her delicate hand on his shoulder and she likes the feeling of his calloused hand on her waist, but above all else she likes the feeling of companionship and understanding that comes from meeting a mind akin to your own.

She meets him first and a she knows for certain that a part of her will forever be in love with him. Her heart fell for him and her heart shattered and she was left to pick up the pieces while Eliza was spun and twirled around by Alexander; enchanted by the man who had also stolen her sister’s heart. 

Oh, if only she knew, dear Eliza; she would not hesitate for a second before handing him over to Angelica with a smile, the precious thing. She would not have to though, Eliza would never find out. And she would live a fulfilling life with the man she loved, if Angelica had to remain silent for that to happen then so be it.

She had felt guilty enough for selfishly thinking about keeping Alexander to herself. For a few moments she had daydreamed about ignoring her sister’s longing. But how could she not introduce Eliza to Alexander? How could she look into her sister’s delighted eyes and deny her the only thing she had ever asked for? No, Angelica was not going to be the one to deny anything to the purest human on Earth.

She stands in the middle of the room, in her prettiest gown, with the prettiest smile she can fake, watching Eliza’s happiness from a different universe. That is until a hand on her shoulder makes her turn around and a gentle voice asks her to dance. Angelica cannot muster an excuse fast enough and she ends up dancing in John Laurens’ arms as he spins her around with more practice that Alexander did, his movements sharper and more polished, as if he had been doing it his whole life. He probably had. His palm feels sweaty in hers, and it grounds her somehow, she likes it; his hand brings her back from her trance to reality, and back to her own self. 

Angelica is grateful when John doesn’t comment when he catches her staring at Alexander and Eliza with longing eyes and she reciprocates the favor when she catches him looking as well.

 

ii.

What Angelica did not know is that it was John Laurens who loved Alexander Hamilton first. Before he went to balls, before he was Washington’s right hand man and even before he owned a decent pair of shoes. He had loved Alexander from the first moment he had seen him, even when his mind was clouded by ale. He had loved Alexander in the tent they shared when the light of the flame was extinguished and it was only their hands and their lips and the fire that burned from within them. He had loved Alexander in the battlefield, with tired arms and a face stained with mud, and a smile after every battle won. He had loved Alexander in New York and in Pennsylvania, in inns and in tents and in the mansions of military leaders.

He had loved Alexander when he loved him back, after hours writing; and he had loved Alexander when he loved every other man or woman he encountered. It was painful and beautiful all at once. John’s love was quiet and small while Alexander’s was big and bright and often given away to the first passerby.  
He could envision Alexander robbing the hearts of the many women and handful of men he had laid with. Stealing them away while they slept by his side and keeping them in the same place he kept John’s, locked away so he could never find it again.

That night John witnessed Alexander rob not one but two hearts. He goes for the older one first, she is taller, and she captures the attention in everyone in the room so seamlessly that if Alexander hadn’t gone talk to her he would have. John observes how the bolder sister becomes enamored by him, how she blushes and her expression turns into one of poorly hidden sadness while she leads Alex toward the younger, quieter one. He had not being expecting that, that act of sacrifice from her and he wonders for a second if he had mistaken her love struck gaze.

He is reassured he hadn’t when he sees the longing looks she throws Alexander’s way, completely still in the middle of the room while everyone dances her all around her.  
Maybe it’s because he sees himself in her or maybe because it saddens him to see her so alone in such a crowded room but he asks her to dance. He sees her face slowly recompose itself, her eyes focusing on him, occasionally shooting him a thankful smile, he keeps waltzing her around the room, the feel of her silk dress under his palm a soothing force as he observes the man he loves steal yet another heart.

He ignores the rest of the looks she throws at Alexander’s direction and is grateful when she does the same thing.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed it! This is the first time I ever publish anything so both feedback and constructive criticism are deeply appreciated.


End file.
